Sigh...

Tonight I watched an excellent movie with my awesome roommate Jenn. While watching, an interesting thought reached me. Neither Jenn nor I have a "boyfriend". I don't even have a prospect. In fact it's been so long I don't even remember what a prospect feels like. Sad, yes. As the movie was playing I was thinking how nice it would be to watch it with a "special someone". I then reflected on how Jenn was most likely thinking the same thing. That is when said thought came about:

"Why is it you're still lonely when you're not alone?"

I'm surrounded by people most of my days and it's still not enough. Frankly, it pisses me off. I feel like I'm asking for my cake and wanting to eat it too. Am I? Am I undeserving? Is it because I refuse to settle that I'm a party of one...? I don't "flirt". I think it's insincere and I like to be genuine when I'm talking to someone. I hate playing those kinds of games, but maybe that's the only way. Coyness and trickery are how you start a relationship. "True love" begins with a false pretense? That makes no sense. I suppose that's the problem. I refuse to give in to borderline devious actions for companionship. I prefer honesty. 

I guess I'm putting the cart before the horse a bit, though. As I said, I don't even have a possibility right now. The one person I might (I'm not even sure if I do) have a "crush" on is so unfeasible I laugh at myself when I even think about thinking about him. At the risk of sounding cliche, it's not fair. Maybe some people really are doomed to lives of solitude. Never to be rescued. I know, I know. Shut it. I could be bringing you all down with me. This misery does NOT love company. So I'll leave you all and proceed with my wallowing silently. Rest beckons anyway. I'll lose myself in a deep slumber. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning. Yadda yadda yadda... 

Namarie melloneamin.

P.S. Sorry for the bumming outness of this blog. A girls gotta vent somewhere. 

Yeti...?

Well, Fay was a total bust. A small trickle of rain and a breeze. Are you freaking kidding me?! I know, I know, some people in other places got alot worse and I should count my blessings blah blah blah. But I was really looking forward to this. All that excitement for nothing. NOTHING. *Sigh* 

To add to the irritation of my day yesterday I had to leave work early due to an "eyeball issue". I have no idea what happened to my eye. It hurts. Direct lighting is the devil. I had to sit in the building with sunglasses on because it was too bright. What is that?! Ahh!!! So annoying. So I trek home and decide to call a doctor. Well one doctor is closed Tuesday and Wednesday due to the "storm". (Oh no! Everyone run from the tiny rain drops!!) And the other doctor's computer is down, naturally. So I have no idea what is wrong with it. I'm pissed. Pissed as hell. Moving on...

My cat peed on the floor. That's irritating. 

On a good note I did make it to bed very early. It was nice. HOWEVER I did dream about snakes. Why, you ask? Because they are everywhere at work. I'm not particularly "afraid" of snakes, but that is not how I want to go. Death by snake is sooooo lame. I'm not sure how I want my death, I only know that a water moccasin is toward the bottom of the list. What if... We're attacked by a giant yeti who has some sort of issue with me and begins to wreak havoc challenging me to a fight to the death. (I don't know... Maybe I ate his winter stash. I would do that...) In order to protect my loved ones from the wrath of said yeti I agree. The result is the demise of both of us. Now, THAT would be an awesome death. Can you imagine the obituary?! Anywho, nowhere in that charming story was the word snake. I'm just saying.

Alrighty. That's it for now. I just wanted all of you to know that yesterday was frustrating. That is all.

Namarie melloneamin.

Fay

During the recent stories surrounding tropical storm Fay I decided to clear the air on my feelings of said events. 

First of all, yes. I am excited. I realize that hurricanes can cause devastations to those not prepared and in some freak of nature cases. However, this is a sort of adventure that I've never experienced before. I see many opportunities for good times. I know I'm odd. Deal with it.

Item B deals with something on a much more serious note. As you all know I have two cats. To fully understand this situation a briefing on our background is needed. Maggie came to me by means of a wretched roommate who ceased in caring about Maggie's needs, both physical and emotional. So I stepped in and saved her from a life of misery. Sphinx I found at the Humane Society. He was the last of his litter left and already plagued with flem so people were disregarding him. It was love at first sight. Now some years down the road of this disgusting thing we call life I was having what some like to refer to as "issues". To make this long and unpleasant chapter short, Sphinx and Maggie are the reason I am alive today. The three of us take care of each other. Which brings me to my dilemma. During the unfolding of our approaching storm I will be working. Therefore I will not be able to attend to them if/as needed. *Note: Please do not offer suggestions. They only aggravate me. This section is more of a rant so that my thoughts on this subject are validated. Many thanks.* Anywho, I'm simply stating that while excited for a possible adventure, worries still exist even though they may not be required.

Furthermore, I would just like to make a little disclaimer to my friends/family who read this. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ME. I am not an idiot. I'm not going to try to brave the oncoming wrath of Fay. I'll either be safe and sound at home or in the company of Belle and her bitches (that means at work). Thank you for caring, but I am in no mood to give the "calm down" speech. I have water, flashlights, gas in the car and good company. So, relax the crap down. End of Disclaimer.

I suppose that is all for now. I will see you on the other side of the storm. BRING IT FAY!!

Namarie melloneamin 

A blog.

After reviewing Danielle's lovely "blog spot" I found it a wonderful idea. So here I am. I don't do nearly enough writing anyway and now that I'm through with my "emo" poem phase I can start fresh (you can find said "emo" poems on my myspace myspace.com/estelaradawn). I'm also thinking of starting some book and movie review blogs here so stay tuned. I tend to have some random/odd/interesting views when it comes to books and movies so it may be worthwhile to jot some opinions down. 

I guess I can give you some info about me then, with this being my opening blog and all...

I'm Kim. Please refrain from adding the berly unless I am in trouble. Thanks. I'm currently 23 and living in central Florida. I work for the Mouse (aka Disney) doing all kinds of crazy shit. Don't ask me specifics (especially here) because I can't really give you any. I have two cats. They are my EVERYTHING. Mess with them and it's doubtful you will live to see another day and that's if I feel merciful. I am of a non specific Pagan religion. Sorry if that scares you *shrug*. I'm a bit of a non-conformist and by a bit I mean severely. Why be difficult when I can be impossible? Hence my title "Being Impossible". That is what I am. Impossible. Ask anyone who knows me well.

I guess that will have to do for now. Sorry to leave you on the edge of your seat *sarcastic laugh* but work beckons. Don't worry, I'll be back eventually.

Namarie melloneamin