A List of 2009

Well. 2009 was... a lot. It was a lot. That's the best I can do. 

Here is a list of things I did:

1. I quit my job

2. I moved

3. I left my best friend

4. I bought curtains

5. I was reacquainted with snow

6. I went to Vegas

7. I lost a parent

8. I got a giant checkerboard

9. I made 6 movies

10. I walked around EPCOT wearing a feather boa

11. I moved an old (very heavy) armoire all my myself.

12. I watched Favre beat the Packers

13. I toured the USS Alabama

14. I read Madame Bovary and didn't like her

15. I had a pirate birthday party

16. I hit a raccoon and cried

17. I was a Jedi for a day

18. I watched the space shuttle launch

19. I got a hair cut

20. I reunited with some old friends

21. I finally read the Harry Potter books

22. I was knighted a Jedi Knight by Prince Caspian

23. I drank a fancy drink out of a coconut on the beach

24. I assembled metal shelves all by myself

25. I stole my mom's wheelchair

26. I saw the arch in St. Louis

27. I decorated a basement

28. I won an award for my writing

29. I wore pink *gasp!*

30. I became Facebook friends with my dad

31. I drove on the freeway

32. I started writing a novel

33. I started writing another novel

34. I stayed sober

35. I was a cat for Halloween

36. I fell in love with Kansas City

37. I cried at a funeral for the first time

38. I bought skinny jeans

39. I baked a golden snitch cake

40. I said goodbye way too many times

41. I watched fireworks from my bedroom window every night I was home

42. I finally bought a regular digital camera

43. I ate an entire pineapple

44. I played a prank on a mortician 

45. I got a tea set

46. I took my dog to the zoo

47. I was introduced to goat cheese and really enjoyed it

48. I went to Old Navy at 3:00 in the morning

49. I sang karaoke

50. I fell in love with the show 'Allo 'Allo

That's a lot. I did tons more, but I'm tired of thinking of them all. So, I'm stopping here.

-Fin-

Back to the Blog

Hi...

Uh... Sorry for the blog break. To be honest I didn't even notice I hadn't been here. With good reason.

My grandpa died. 

It was long... and sad... and difficult. 

But, now we're coping. Well, they are. I think I've dealt with it. I don't know. I keep saying that I prepared myself and that's why I'm not emotional.  I believe that. I really do. I'm just different from other people and that's why I don't deal with things the same way. 

People die. It's inevitable. When you battle with Death... eventually you lose. No matter what. 

Therefore, when Grandpa started going down hill months ago, I told myself it was going to happen. Why? BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. 

Maybe I'm more pessimistic than I want to be, and maybe I'm cold, but so far that's working. I cried at the viewing and his graveside services. I cried when it actually happened. I was sad. I still am sad. I just know how to handle it. Contrary to popular belief. *shrug* People die. Grandpa used to say "There are two things in life you HAVE to do. Pay taxes and die."

And he did. 

And it sucks.

But, I'm fine.

Quick shout out to: 

Kat, James and the arrival of The Bean. She's absolutely lovely.

Lacie who's birthday I totally forgot about. Love you. And happy belated birthday.

Angie, I'm pretty sure you don't read my blog, but you were a HUGE help to me at the viewing. Thank you.

Marc for Grandpa's motorcycle escort and for letting me cry on your shoulder.

Jessie. You are the best. Ever. Thank you for caring about my Christmas cheer. Holly is DEFINITELY incomplete without her Ornament. 

Alright. I'm out.

Here's What I Have to Say.

Hate it. 

I really do. There's so many aspects of my life that are utterly disheartening. It makes me so sad to see it, let alone live it. *sigh*

I'm not visiting Orlando like I planned to in October, and I cannot begin to describe the total devastation this has caused. I could care less about Disney. It's my people. That's where they are, and it's where I'm not. I need them. Need them. I knew it was going to be hard and boring not to be seeing them everyday, but I had no idea how difficult it was going to actually be living without them. God! I miss Jessie and Kat so much. It's nearly unbearable. 

Here people are used to a Kim that goes with the flow, makes excuses and doesn't ever ever say how much they hurt her feelings. Now, they get confused and angry when she expresses how she feels. Mom, I don't like going out to your house because it actually is too far, that's the real reason. It's a long drive there and back and I don't like to stay the night, because I like my bed and my cat's snoring next to me. AND, I got a dog for a reason. I like her company. That's why I don't like it when you kidnap her to go to the "ranch". Yes, I know you're reading this. But, at least with the truth I don't have to dodge around subjects. And, while I'm at it, you yell too much. It's hurtful.

My house is driving me crazy. They found black mold in my basement and ripped a giant hole in my wall. Yes, steve, MY wall. Just because you destroyed it, that doesn't make it yours. My entire lair now smells like stomach churning, eye burning, vinegar. It's similar to walking into a cheap, rotted, wine cellar. Yummy. So, now, they've taken my space. For a couple of weeks, it's gone. Where am I supposed to escape you people? When you've pissed me off to the point of tears, where am I supposed to go? 

Here's one you're going to love. I like a guy. Oh yeah, actually like one. He's 2000 miles away. Literally. Awesome. Oh... and he has no idea. Awesomer.

I still haven't attained a router. So, I can't write because I'm chained to the dining room table. That's great. 

I also feel the need to give a shout out to Aly. Thank you for your support in my new chosen career. And for your correspondence. It's nice to have a sister that cares... Wait. Oh... I'm mistaken. You're too busy with half hearted "friends" and partying to realize you have a sister who misses you. In case you decide to tear yourself away from your self involved little world for three seconds and actually wonder how I'm doing, here it is: I've given up trying with you. 

Hmm... I'm on a roll here... Grandpa, I'm trying to help, stop making fun of me. I get enough of that from everyone else. Plus, I'm the one who asks you how you're doing, not other people or making assumptions. 

Grandma, I know I'm fat, eat too much, and have zits. You can stop pointing it out everyday. 

I know I made the right decision to leave Disney. That was the best thing I did for me since leaving home. I'm just not sure if I came to the right place. I needed to not be there. But, I'm also thinking I need not be here. Typical. Can't go forward, can't go back. 

Kim out.

Check out my new blog.

Apparently having two blogs wasn't enough. I needed another. 

This one is solely dedicated to my writing. It's updates on the novels and internet publications. 

This is it. 

This one will still be updated with new writings over there on the right ----------->

Thanks for your support everyone!

Peace out.

Some Things Never Change.

Some things never change. 

Those "things" would be me.

I'm never where I need to be when I need to be there.

I'll never have clear skin.

I'm never going to be good at sharing.

And I always ALWAYS love the one I can't have.

*sigh* I also loathe myself for posting this. Really... 

Did this uplift any of you...? No. 

Did it make me feel better...? No. 

Did you roll your eyes...? Yes. 

Did I...? Yes. 

ROAR!!

I'm going to go crawl in a hole and pray for sleep. Or death. Or maybe tea... 

I have acquired a new "fine china" tea set... 

Peace out.

Weird

So, friends, I painted my fingernails today.

First time in around two/two and a half years.

It's an odd sensation. 

That is all.

Moving, Driving, and Vegas, Oh My!!

I believe that is the only fitting title.

So... 

A number of things have happened since my last entry, as most of you are aware of. I'm just going to make a list. I feel that will keep this information organized and easier to follow.

#1 I moved. 

Yup. I'm back in the 801 for reals. It's weird. It's home, but at the same time, it's not home. The residential sector of my mind is on overload right now. It's fine, though. I'm figuring I'll come around. Once I get a job, find some sort of a routine, and regain a social life, I'll feel better.

#2 The drive. 

I (and when I say I, I mean we, and when I say we, I mean me, my mom, Aly, Sphinx, Maggie, and Evie) drove from Orlando to Salt Lake. Wow. We did a crap load of stuffs, though. I especially enjoyed touring the USS Alabama, and Kansas City. On the battleship, I felt like Link in a dungeon. Only, in place of the Master Sword I had a cell phone. Oh yeah, I got lost. It was great! Kansas City was a beautiful city. It surprised me. I'll probably live there one day, or visit for a significant amount of time. Anywho, the drive took us almost five days. It was quite a trek.

This is the battleship USS Alabama. It was so bad ass. I loved it. It was so much fun to get lost within her. That sounded better in my head...

The arch in St. Louis. It was neat to see something you've seen only pictures of, in real life. It was as giant as I thought it was...

Ah, yes... Arrowhead Stadium. Home of the Kansas City Chiefs. Maybe one day I'll see a game there. But, for now, this was a rare treat to just see it from a distance. Go Chiefs!!

#3 Vegas

After a week of being home, I was crazy enough to get back in the car. We took a little quest to Las Vegas. One of my most favorite destinations. I love Vegas. So much. We walked almost the entire strip. We dined at Nine Fine Irishmen, and Denny's at two a.m. (well, my mom and I did, anyway). I sang karaoke totally sober, and ate in Paris right in front of the Bellagio fountains. My mom and I spent an afternoon with dolphins, lions, and tigers, while Andrea and Aly took part in the Star Trek convention. The wax museum was quite entertaining, as well, as it always is. 

Here we are playing video poker and receiving free drinks. I love vegas! I won! But, then lost.

Bah ha ha! Whilst in Vegas I learned how to tie a cherry stem in a knot using only my tongue! This is why one travels to the far away land of Las Vegas... To learn these useless, albeit AWESOME, ways...

Ah, yes... How does one resist the temptation of this photo... If any of you can figure out how to just walk by and NOT do this, please let me in on the secret!! Wait... disregard that last statement. This is funny.

Aly was pooped. Vegas is hard work for one so young. Apparently my will power for not taking hilarious photos is weak. I don't care. This is great. Love you, Al.

Many more photos can be found upon my facebook, if you so choose to take a gander over there. Also included are: my final Disney parade, my final night of work, my last park outings and my going away "party". 

That is all. 

Rennik I miss you.

Dear Facebook "Friend"

I want to know how you have the NERVE to make a comment like that. You don’t know the whole story. Maybe you should know what’s going on before you open your giant, disgusting, fat, probably herpes infected mouth. 

The reason I’m moving in with my grandparents is because my grandpa can no longer work. They’re staying afloat, but having a hard time. I’m going to help them. They raised me, and they deserve better than what they’ve got. I’m able to be there for them, so I’m going to. 

How dare you tell me it’s “sad” that I’m moving in with my grandparents, especially when you don’t know the reasons why. And, how dare you tell me that’s not something to shout out to the world. I’m damn proud of the fact that I’m going to be there for my family. They’ve done so much for me, and I finally have the ability to give some of that back.

Try thinking before speaking. It’s helpful.

Also, try learning respect, for you no longer have mine. 

Piss off.

The Beginning of the End

These are the things I'm leaving. The parks, the beach, my friends and my "friends".

In 18 days I'll be driving away from "sunny" Florida.

Am I ready to say goodbye...?

Another Place for Me to Rant

I am now on Tumblr. 

Feel free to follow me, if you so choose.

http://kimmysoo.tumblr.com/

Essentially, when something comes to mind, I'm going to post it there. 

Random thoughts.

Helpful quotes.

Things that need to be remembered.

All found where I like to leave the thinks that I think.

No fear, mine faithful blog readers. I'll still be blogging regularly, right here. 

That is all.

Trials and Smiles

So... I'm sick. Not "ooooooooh! I'm dying!!" sick. Just a sore throat and cough. Which, in my line of work, is one of the worst things that can possibly happen. My voice is shot. It sounds awful, and hurts like hell. Therefore, I could be in trouble.

I'm probably going to the doctor today or tomorrow. Now, most of you know I'm not afraid of doctors. Doesn't bother me in the least bit to visit a medical establishment (unless people are barfing, I don't like barfing). HOWEVER, there is an exception. A strep test. Draw blood, x-ray me, MRI, I'd almost visit the GYNO before I'd ever want a strep test (calm down, I said almost). I hate them. Once, when I was eight, they had to have two nurses and my mom hold me down to get one. I think I kicked the nurse, in fact... I'm pretty sure I did. They're dreadful! I feel like they're choking me or something!! And, this time, I'll be all alone. Nobody to hold my hand.

I'm finding it interesting that everything reverts to me not having a boyfriend. I don't try to do that. It just always seems to come full circle, back to: Kim doesn't have anyone, and never will. I've been single for so long, I don't even know how long it's been anymore. *sigh* I used to think it couldn't get any worse, until a few weeks ago, it did.

Oh, yes. There's a boy. A really cute one. And, guess what! He doesn't even know I exist! I'm pretty sure he knows my name, and that's about it. It's driving me insane. I see him, and I think about him, and he makes me smile. But, as quickly as that smile springs to my lips, it's chased away by logic. He's popular, good looking (so good looking), and smart, which always ends badly for me. Always. Here's the kicker, though. Oh, yes, there's a kicker. We actually have some of the same interests! As if the Gods couldn't mock me anymore, they're dangling a guy right in front of me who I might actually have something with! 

Call it intuition, or wishful thinking, I know there is something to this guy. My instincts are screaming at me, telling me to get to know him, but I just can't find the opportunity. I don't know what to do! My time here is so limited. I can't let this slip through my fingers. I just can't. I've done that so many times before, but this time... I feel like it's more than a cheesy, little girl, crush. I feel like the fates may have actually dropped him right in my path for a reason. And whether that be to date, or to find a person to just talk to, I need to get to know him. I don't know why, but I just do. Like I said, there's something to him. Something about him... Ah! 

I hate this. 

On a new subject, simply because I don't want to talk about blog boy anymore (oh yes, I've titled him blog boy), I'm currently reading three books right now.

#1 Wuthering Heights

 It's alright so far. I'm not very far into it. I think I'll enjoy it, I may not go on and on about how much I love it. But, I'm not feeling it's a waste of time.

#2 A Game of Thrones

It's confusing, but starting to become less so (starting a new fantasy series is always a bit confusing in the beginning, so many people to meet, and places to see). I think I'm going to really like it. I've had my eye on George R. R. Martin for some time now, so I'm excited to see what he's all about.

#3 Capt. Hook

A delightful story of the younger Captain James Hook. Loving it. I'm about half done, and it's lots of fun. We all know how I feel about Jas Hook, so why wouldn't I like this? It's written by the man who wrote the screenplay for the film Hook (J.V. Hart). Which is one of my favorite versions of the good captain. Therefore, one can only conclude that I would more than enjoy this book. 

I believe that is all I have to blog about at this time. I'm off to find out about a doctor's appointment. I trust all of you will be holding my hand in spirit for my strep test. *sigh* I'm not going to say who I wish really would be... Great... Now I've depressed myself. 

Kittens playing in marshmallows!!

There. I feel a little better now.