I really do. There's so many aspects of my life that are utterly disheartening. It makes me so sad to see it, let alone live it. *sigh*
I'm not visiting Orlando like I planned to in October, and I cannot begin to describe the total devastation this has caused. I could care less about Disney. It's my people. That's where they are, and it's where I'm not. I need them. Need them. I knew it was going to be hard and boring not to be seeing them everyday, but I had no idea how difficult it was going to actually be living without them. God! I miss Jessie and Kat so much. It's nearly unbearable.
Here people are used to a Kim that goes with the flow, makes excuses and doesn't ever ever say how much they hurt her feelings. Now, they get confused and angry when she expresses how she feels. Mom, I don't like going out to your house because it actually is too far, that's the real reason. It's a long drive there and back and I don't like to stay the night, because I like my bed and my cat's snoring next to me. AND, I got a dog for a reason. I like her company. That's why I don't like it when you kidnap her to go to the "ranch". Yes, I know you're reading this. But, at least with the truth I don't have to dodge around subjects. And, while I'm at it, you yell too much. It's hurtful.
My house is driving me crazy. They found black mold in my basement and ripped a giant hole in my wall. Yes, steve, MY wall. Just because you destroyed it, that doesn't make it yours. My entire lair now smells like stomach churning, eye burning, vinegar. It's similar to walking into a cheap, rotted, wine cellar. Yummy. So, now, they've taken my space. For a couple of weeks, it's gone. Where am I supposed to escape you people? When you've pissed me off to the point of tears, where am I supposed to go?
Here's one you're going to love. I like a guy. Oh yeah, actually like one. He's 2000 miles away. Literally. Awesome. Oh... and he has no idea. Awesomer.
I still haven't attained a router. So, I can't write because I'm chained to the dining room table. That's great.
I also feel the need to give a shout out to Aly. Thank you for your support in my new chosen career. And for your correspondence. It's nice to have a sister that cares... Wait. Oh... I'm mistaken. You're too busy with half hearted "friends" and partying to realize you have a sister who misses you. In case you decide to tear yourself away from your self involved little world for three seconds and actually wonder how I'm doing, here it is: I've given up trying with you.
Hmm... I'm on a roll here... Grandpa, I'm trying to help, stop making fun of me. I get enough of that from everyone else. Plus, I'm the one who asks you how you're doing, not other people or making assumptions.
Grandma, I know I'm fat, eat too much, and have zits. You can stop pointing it out everyday.
I know I made the right decision to leave Disney. That was the best thing I did for me since leaving home. I'm just not sure if I came to the right place. I needed to not be there. But, I'm also thinking I need not be here. Typical. Can't go forward, can't go back.
Kim out.
