Day 07- Your ex-boyfriend/love/crush

My once dearest,

I really have nothing to say to you.

You probably wouldn’t listen if I did have things to say.

Best regards,

Kim

Day 06- A Stranger

Hello, Stranger:

I’m not really sure what to say to you. Being as I don’t know you, I have no idea as to your interests. I could tell you about myself. Although, I’m not sure what good that’ll do you. I’m not sure what good that will do me either.

What do you believe in? For you, what’s worth fighting for? I’m always intrigued by other’s ideas and notions. What’s most important to a person teaches me far more than “what do you do for a living?” Quite often our occupation is what’s there, not who we are.

I work in retail. It’s not what I “do”. It’s what I tolerate so I can have food and a car. See? You didn’t learn much about me there, did you? Oh well. It’s not as though you’re going to write back.

Do you believe in Destiny, Stranger? I do. I’m not really sure how it’s helping me, but I believe in it. I wish on stars, too. Although, lately, I’ve only stared at them. No wishing. I’m trying to give up wishing. It’s no good. Every dandelion, first star, 11:11, necklace chain and penny in a fountain wish has proved false. I never expected the wish to magically materialize before my eyes. I only thought that maybe putting that hopeful energy into the world would make things a little lighter.

But, alas, it did nothing.

Interesting how one can say things to a stranger and feel alright with it. I don’t know if you’re even listening. Doesn’t really matter, though, does it?

Goodbye, Stranger. Lovely chat.

Always,

Kim

Reasons I Don't Date

Due to this week's experiences, here is the list of reasons I hate dating:

1. I suck at it.

2 I don't have the patience.

3. I hate games.

4. I don't like people touching me.

5. There's too much pressure.

6. I hate flirting.

7. I suck at flirting.

8. I'm too in control of my "emotions".

9. I don't trust people, especially men.

10. I'm not good with forgiveness.

11. I don't take compliments easily.

12. People aren't as honest as they should be.

13. Boys are too simple.

14. Boys are so simple, they end up confusing me.

15. Actions speak louder than words and people forget that.

16. I don't like to make eye contact.

17. I over-analyze EVERYTHING in EVERY aspect of my life.

18. I'm not sure I even WANT to get married.

19. I hate the "what does this mean?" game.

20. I'm not normal when it comes to anything else, why would I want to "date"? That sounds like something a normal person would do.

21. Meeting other people's families really freaks me out.

22. Apparently, Captain Hook isn't real. Therefore, why bother?

23. My cats will always love me more than any man ever could.

24. I've heard/witnessed too many horror stories.

25. I'm pretty emotionally independant.

26. I'm pretty spiritually independant.

27. I hate that I have to pretend I don't burp.

28. Let's be honest, nobody will ever be rich enough *shrug*

29. Too many people lose themselves within their "significant other". I refuse to lose myself. I'd rather be alone.

30. I have a fear of abandonment.

31. My dog gives me more kisses than I will ever need.

32. Not enough men like ballet.

33. I'm too ticklish.

34. I don't handle anger well, and boys make me angry.

35. I don't like who I am when I'm trying to impress people.

36. You shouldn't have to try to impress people.

37. Men in books are just SO MUCH BETTER.

38. It's too hard to list the foods I do and do not eat.

39. I absolutely DETEST insincerity, and that happens all too often when "dating".

40. PDAs? Not a chance.

41. I'm a black and white sort of person. I hate when anything is in a gray area.

42. I hate waiting for someone other than myself to make a decision.

43. Too many people are cowards.

Shall I go on...?

Day 05- Your Dreams

To my dreams both big and small:

Please come true.

I know that’s a lot to ask. I try to chase after you as best I can. Sometimes, my circumstances prevent me from a full pursuit. I try, though. And, I’ll never give up on you.

But, you already knew that, didn’t you?

Always,

Kim

Day 04- Your Sibling

Dear Flow Flem,

I want you to know, first off, that I love you. I love you a lot. I miss hanging with you on a more regular basis. We have good laughs, and probably always will.

I’m really proud of you for how much you’ve grown. It’s really impressive. You need to stick up for yourself and are doing so in incredible ways. Keep going.

I still think we should go on the Amazing Race, if only to prove to Mom that we wouldn’t argue around the entire world. We would effing win the million dollars. Just sayin’.

See you Saturday (hopefully).

Love always,

Flen Flem

Day 03- Your Parents

To my parents,

I have three of you. Unconventionel, yes, but it worked out quite well for Aly and I. We love you a lot, and we both turned out pretty alright. I’m glad I had three parents. It made things different, and we all know how I feel about a “normal” life.

Thanks Mom, for teaching me independance, self sufficiency, and humor. From you I learned about hard work, perseverance, and to do act when you get a good idea. You’re also good for talking too.

Grandma, thank you for letting me move home (time and time again). Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for letting me bring cats into your home, when you hated them. And, thank you for having the coffee made in the morning. That helps me more than you’ll ever know.

I don’t know if you’ll be reading this Grandpa, but I just want to tell you I miss you, and anytime something goes wrong with my car, I try to think of what you would do. I miss baseball. We had good times there. I’m sure your having a grander time than we are right now. Love ya, and talk to ya later.

You guys are the best and I am so thankful that you are in my everyday life. Thanks for telling me how proud you are of me. It helps. Love you guys!

Love always,

Kim

Day 02- Your Crush

To whom it may concern:

I title this letter as such for I am still uncertain of my "crush" status with you. While I am unsatisfied with the word crush itself... Wait. My phone is ringing...

It's you.

Oh.

I guess there's nothing else to say to right now.

Always,

Kim

Day 01- Your Best Friend

Dear BFF,

I miss you. I hate that I always have to say that. It breaks my heart that I can't just say "Hey!" I have to say "I miss you". We suck at being apart.

I know you've had unhappy times for awhile. I need you to keep your chin up. Things will improve, I promise. New things are coming. I can feel it.

Tell Doug "hello" for me. He wants to take good care of you. I think, sometimes, you should let him. He's a pretty cool dude.

Let me know what you find in the literature world. I'm always interested, as you already know. I really liked the Star Wars book I read. Not what I expected, but it held my attention rather well.

We speak so often I feel as though you know all there is to know about my semi-pathetic life.

I love you. And... I miss you. You're the best.

Love always,

Kimmy

P.S. Fuck Disney

Yet Another Challenge

I'm participating in another 30 day blog "challenge".

The following letters will be written on my blog and Tumblr at the rate of one a day:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your siblings (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Why, you ask? Because it's blogging suicide.

Enjoy!